Creating a new normal

B and I went to the Ocean this past weekend. I do miss the Ocean the 5 hr drive was even worth it. It was amazing it rarely ever works out that we have the time and the money to pull something like this off. We were even able to take the dogs, and they loved the ocean, I was a little concerned that we might have to run into the surf to grab Seamus but it worked out. Nevertheless, back to the purpose of this blog I was good I barely even remembered that it was mother’s day. I sent cards to our Grandmas. Moms, sisters and sister in laws like I do every year. I really thought when we started to try last summer that I would be a mom or at least pregnant by this time. We went out to lunch on Sunday before heading back and the waitress asks if I was a mom, I of course said no. She did not know what to say; that she had a prepared Congrats statement was obvious. Where do I fit in to a world that values women as mothers? I know everyone is probably thinking its mothers day, they deserve their day. And they do I am not disagreeing with having a mothers day at all. I just want to know where I fit. I know the odds of myself getting pregnant, and we have adopted the outlook that if it happens, it happens (and not holding our breath) But I cant give up the thought that I want to be a mom more than anything. I just cannot help but wonder what is normal. I know that as a species we must continue to reproduce if we are to survive although it is not such a necessity anymore. It is considered normal for a married woman who is almost 30 with a good job to have children. What is normal, and what if the normal is not even possible. How do you even begin to create a new normal?